Saturday, March 29, 2008

Chapel with Rick Alonzo =D

So, chapel this morning was ridiculous! I went in there not even wanting to be there considering I have about two chapels left. I didn't even need it but I thought to myself I do need it for my own good. Chapel isn't something I consider a burden I consider it a blessing and actually enjoy them, they don't harm me they only do good for me even though at times I can't see it. Walking in with a poop attitude I sat there with my friend Cristal playing on my mac showing her how it worked before chapel started. Then this "little" man walks on stage and starts sharing his story, he had an accent and didn't speak that great of English but I liked that about him it showed that it doesn't matter where you are from or how you speak you can share the Gospel! He said he was going to paint to a picture for us and explain what it meant later. While he was painting in the dark gym I started to lose interest. He was finger painting with neon colors but no one could tell what he was painting, it was, I have to admit an ugly painting. Until, he flipped it around and it was a huge picture of Jesus. I was in such awe that it literaly took my breath away! It took everyones breath away! How could something so ugly be flipped around and become such a beautiful painting of Jesus? Cris and I looked at eachother and almost started crying. He went on to explain that Jesus called him to paint that picture when he realized he needed to "flip" his life around. The painting is symbolic because he was living life as a "religious man" but not as a follower of Christ, so the painting was painted upside and flipped to show how Jesus flipped his life around. He went on to paint three others, one with planets and Jesus looking down on the planets because he the commander of the whole universe! Next, he painted a sideview of Jesus in bright orange and green and blue and he painted this one mainly with his feet, CRAZY! Lastly, he painted Jesus hanging on the cross, then he splattered red paint all over his body to show he bore all our sins becuase he loved us that much! When Rick was painting that last portrait I couldn't help but get teary eyed, I saw that painting and thought WOW he bore it all, ALL, just for me, just for me to be a screw up and not live for him. I thought I don't deserve his LOVE and kindness and comfort one bit. I just couldn't believe what a vivid image I got of him on that cross broken hearted because everyone had betrayed him but yet the LOVE he still had for us ALL! I was so broken during this chapel and thought I need to stop worrying about such little things and consume my thoughts only on Him! I know it seems impossible to only think about God, but I can assure anyone of this I am going to strive everyday to be Christ-like in every action I make. I've wasted so much time putting others down just to bring myself up, when in reality it only feels good because im lying to myself. I need to LOVE, I know I have grown in this area a lot but it will never be good enough until I can completely let go of everything and PRESS ON not look behind but PRESS ON towards the goal which is JESUS! Please, anyone that reads this keep me accountable for these words I write because sometimes I can lose sight of the image I want to live so easily. This world is sooo distracting and evil that I get sucked in so easily. I'm sick of living this life for anyone else but God, it's not what I am about or ever want to be again! I know this was probably hard to understand because I am a horrible writer but I wanted to share with everyone this experience that I wish everyone could have experienced.

"So I strive always to keep my conscience clear before God and man." Acts 24:6

Here are a few pictures I took on my phone during chapel but as you can see they didn't turn out too good but I tried and hopefully ya'll can get a little taste of what I saw. Enjoy...


Saturday, March 22, 2008


This is a song by David Crowter Band named Surely We Can Change, that I listened to the other night and fell in LOVE. I only put the chorus up because I think it is truly powerful, eventhough the whole song is fantastic. The words are simply beautiful and this is my prayer for everyone.

Where there is pain
Let there be grace
Where there is suffering
Bring serenity
For those afraid
Help them be brave
Where there is misery
Bring expectancy
And surely we can change
Surely we can change
Something And the problem it seems
Is with you and me
Not the LOVE
Who came To repair everything

The song really changed how I thought about others once again. I seriously always get caught up in my life and my problems and I need to stop doing that, but to be honest it is a constant battle for me. I know others have far more problems to worry about then I, but I seem to always drag everything back to myself and how I am feeling. It is truly a huge struggle of mine that I am getting better day by day through the grace of God and only God. In reality I have far more then I need and I still complain, what is my problem? I only hope that I can really grow in this part of my life. It seems like everything is just becoming so clear to me and I hope God can really paint me a picture of how blessed I am everyday! Also, a little side note, Matt Brown's sermon on Sunday was wonderful! He was talking about hurting and lost people and how we as "Christians" need to get up and reach out to those people not sit here and think we are better than them. People mess up that are followers and even them we need to reach out to, although it is extremely disapointing when someone you know that is a strong follower messes up. The worst thing to do though is leave and give up on them because what do they have to prove? NOTHING! I can't even imagine if my friends abandoned me during all the times I messed up I'd be so lost. So, stand by them and lift them up God can work miracles in the people you think that could NEVER change. As we all know Christians act so perfect and better then others and I'll be the first to admit I think that about myself all the time. I put myself up higher then others because I think, wow I've got it, I so have this christian thing down, I read my bible, I pray, and I go to church, ohh and the best of all is I'm going on this trip to the Middle East because I am that good of a Christian. My mind is totally out of whack when I get in that thinking process. God transform me. Matt brought up another great point, he was reading one of Paul's books in the Bible 1 Timothy 1:12-17, Paul states he is the worst of all sinners becuase of all the horrible things he had done. The point Matt was making was that WE are not the worst sinners because you see, Paul already claimed it, but we can take the silver medal and be the SECOND worst of them all. I loved that. My favorite part of the whole sermon was when Matt said, "Those who have been forgiven much, LOVE much!" I only hope this is the case.

Sunday, March 16, 2008


Worst day ever....

God I know you are bigger than anything on this Earth!!! Please just re-assure me of this right now especially, I know I can't go through this alone! I need YOU more then anything!!! Please make me strong through everything I rest in You and You alone! You are my God for eternity, all the earthy things will be gone and heaven is better then anything given here! I LOVE YOU and know You love me that is all I need to survive! Thank You for this suffering I go through because it is all for You and makes me closer to You! Everyday that passes is another day closer to You, now let me rest in the comfort of YOU!!!! AMEN!!